MELVIN DURAI'S AMUZING LIFE
"LOTTERIES MAKE US DREAM BIG"

     The American dream sure has changed.

     The dream used to be to make a decent living, buy a house and raise a few loving children to be good citizens and mow the lawn.

     The new dream is far more appealing: win millions of dollars in the lottery, tell your boss exactly what to do with your job, and spend the rest of your life shopping.

     Which man hasn't dreamed of owning a fleet of Ferraris, a wardrobe of Armanis and a lifetime supply of Rogaine? Which woman hasn't dreamed of visiting several malls in one day and buying them all?

     The government has helped foster these dreams, sponsoring a number of lotteries and somehow fooling us that buying tickets is a wise investment. Truth is, it would be wiser to invest in prune juice, hoping it will one day be as popular as beer.

     In most states, lotteries are one of the few legal forms of gambling, an easy way for governments to tax people, even the poor, who cling to the hope that they are buying a ticket to Bill Gates' world -- or at least his village. Many buy hundreds of tickets, playing various combinations and increasing their chances of going bankrupt.

     The recent $295 million jackpot in the Powerball lottery, sponsored by 20 states and the District of Columbia, created more excitement around the country than a celebrity divorce. Millions of people rushed to stores to buy tickets. If only we could get that kind of turnout for elections. Perhaps we should allow voters to pick candidates, as well as numbers. So many people would vote, the next president might actually get a majority.

     I could laugh at all the people who drove several hours to neighboring states to buy Powerball tickets. I could laugh at those who stood in line for hours. I could laugh at those who ended up with worthless pieces of paper. But I don't like laughing at crazy people, especially when I happen to be one of them. Sort of.

     One of my work mates offered to drive to West Virginia to buy tickets for everyone in the office. And I decided to give her $5 for five chances at instant retirement. I didn't want to be the only loser in the office, the only person who had to work for a living.

     I knew the odds of winning were steep, about one in 80 million, equal to the odds of:

     ---Mike Tyson being asked to host the next Miss America contest.

     ---Monica Lewinsky refusing to write a tell-all book.

     ---Robert Downey Jr. being appointed as the country's drug czar.

     ---Richard Simmons writing a best-selling book called "How to Gain Weight and Stay Fat."

     ---Howard Stern talking for an hour without mentioning sex.

     But despite the odds, the jackpot was too enticing for me, because I knew someone was going to win it. And chances are, whoever won it wouldn't share it with me. Even if I begged them.

     Despite the odds, millions of people couldn't help dreaming about what they'd do with the money. Some dreamed about all the things they'd buy. Others dreamed about all the people they'd help. It's so easy to be generous in your dreams.

     Despite the odds, the American dream lives on. Until the next jackpot.