MELVIN DURAI'S AMUZING LIFE
PAYING TAXES COULD BURY YOU IN DEBT

     The Internal Revenue Service recently decided to allow people to pay their tax bills with credit cards, rescuing millions of Americans from the difficult task of writing a check.

     Writing a check is difficult because:

     ---You need to know how to write.

     ---You need to remember the date.

     ---You need to have money in the bank.

     It's easy to pay taxes with a credit card because:

     ---You don't need a job. Even students are eligible for credit cards, shortly after they graduate from kindergarten.

     ---You don't need money. You just need credit. Money doesn't grow on trees, but credit even grows on rocks.

     ---You don't need to do any planning. You can just say, "Charge it," and pay your bill for the rest of your life. The credit card companies are like a rich friend who lends you money and says, "Don't worry about it. Just pay me a little every month and you'll have it paid off some day, perhaps even before you're senile."

     America's credit-card debt is approaching $550 billion, a bill that would make even Bill Gates squirm. To raise that amount, he'd need to turn Microsoft into some sort of monopoly, which he obviously doesn't want to do.

     Many people are buried so deep in debt, they need a shovel the size of Canada. And here comes the IRS with another truckload of dirt.

     After filing their taxes, thousands of people will be filing for bankruptcy. Then they'll spend seven years cursing the man who invented the credit card. A Frenchman named Pierre Gougethem.

     But you can't blame the IRS, which is just trying to reduce paperwork by encouraging people to file electronically. Besides, using a credit card is a convenience most people enjoy --- until they get the bill. Many resort to paying just the minimum payment. And the darn bill keeps returning, slightly smaller than before, like a mother-in-law who's on a diet.

     Most credit cards charge high interest rates, as high as 21%. It's no wonder the average man's debt is expanding faster than his waistline.

     To be fair, credit card companies don't force anyone to become customers. They just keep tempting us, dangling low introductory interest rates and balance transfer checks. I've received so many of those checks, I can start my own personal bonfire.

     My first credit card arrived in college. To get me to apply, the credit card recruiters offered me a gift I somehow couldn't resist: a two-liter bottle of soda. I must have been pretty thirsty.

     The credit card was from Sears, which quickly became my favorite store. Here I was, a broke college student, and suddenly I had the power to buy things. My credit limit was about $500 and I felt like Donald Trump.

     Over the next ten years or so, my credit card debt climbed to about $4,000, as I charged all kinds of items, including appliances, textbooks and food. It was a good thing my landlord didn't accept Visa.

     Fortunately, I managed to pay off my debt, with help from a bank loan. And now I'm careful about using credit cards. I don't buy anything I can't afford. I don't carry a balance. I don't pay any interest.

     The credit card companies must really hate me.