MELVIN DURAI'S AMUZING LIFE
"BUSY LIFESTYLE FORCES US TO MULTI-TASK."

     It's called multi-tasking, the increasingly popular and seemingly essential habit of doing more than one thing at a time. All of us have done it, at one time or another. The ultimate multi-tasker, of course, is Bill Clinton, who has shown us that he can simultaneously, and with great efficiency, conduct official business on the telephone and cheat on his wife.

     Who can blame him? There are only 24 hours in a day, barely enough time to make so many important speeches, appearances, and denials. Not to mention apologies.

     Even ordinary folk like you and me can't find enough time to do everything we want. We're constantly rushed, struggling to keep up with the demands of modern life. Some of us don't even have the time to buy birthday gifts for all our pets. Scary, isn't it?

     Multi-tasking seems to be the answer for many people, even my dentist, who has this annoying habit of making small talk with his assistant while drilling my teeth. I wish I could figure out a way to make small talk with him, while sneaking out without paying.

     Multi-tasking is nothing new. It goes back to at least 1492, when Italian explorer Christopher Columbus tried to steer his ship while eating a large pepperoni pizza. It's no wonder he couldn't find his way to India.

     But multi-tasking is much more common and vital these days, partly because of technology. We'd have more time on our hands if we didn't have to read our e-mail, surf the Internet, return phone calls, wax our cars, and watch Oprah.

     Of course, technology has also helped us save time. For example, if it weren't for microwaves, many of us, including me, would have to spend a lot of time learning to cook.

     If you're always pressed for time, here are some important tips on multi-tasking:

     ---It's usually dangerous to multi-task while driving, flying or operating heavy machinery, such as SUVs. Listening to the radio is OK if you're driving, but try not to read the newspaper. Unless you want to be tomorrow's headline: "Multi-tasker sustains multi-fractures in multi-car accident. Police chief calls him multi-stupid."

     ---Try to combine an unpleasant task with a pleasant one. For example, while doing the laundry, you may want to make love to your spouse. Just don't try it at a laundromat.

     ---If you don't have time to exercise, like a friend of mine, you may want to consider jumping around in the bathtub while taking a shower. Or you could skip the shower and go jogging in the rain. But don't forget to take some soap on a rope.

     ---Try not to do more than five things at once. After all, you have only two arms, two legs and one mouth. Though in desperate times, you may find it useful to operate the television remote with your nose.

     ---If you come home and find your wife cooking a delicious dinner for you while fooling around with the mailman, don't bombard her with questions. As the president would tell you, multi-tasking is no fun when it's followed by multi-asking.

     It's better to do some skillful multi-tasking yourself: Eat the dinner while watching a football game, calling a divorce lawyer, and writing a complaint to the postmaster, to accompany the videotaped evidence.

     That's multi-tasking at its finest.